Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
