She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven