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I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
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