Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.

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  (508): i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer. http://tfl.nu/xz6n
  Replies (24) Good night (2356) Bad night (620)
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  (949): View more from California

  who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool

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  (949): who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool http://tfl.nu/a4ly
  Replies (7) Good night (1170) Bad night (1734)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.

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  (512): after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men. http://tfl.nu/7tn8
  Replies (31) Good night (2180) Bad night (8246)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

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  (864): I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me. http://tfl.nu/y5s2
  Replies (30) Good night (5829) Bad night (1171)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.

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  (727): I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place. http://tfl.nu/vbxd
  Replies (18) Good night (5938) Bad night (1002)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".

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  (713): You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation". http://tfl.nu/47p5
  Replies (8) Good night (2648) Bad night (1777)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.

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  (303): I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever. http://tfl.nu/ptta
  Replies (17) Good night (4191) Bad night (3832)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage

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  (406): I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage http://tfl.nu/3msa
  Replies (14) Good night (3212) Bad night (728)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.

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  (641): My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/v9dh
  Replies (9) Good night (3711) Bad night (1042)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?

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  (919): Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill? http://tfl.nu/kp4x
  Replies (7) Good night (2120) Bad night (916)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem

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  (832): Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem http://tfl.nu/ll71
  Replies (6) Good night (3232) Bad night (665)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...

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  (803): Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement... http://tfl.nu/7rvh
  Replies (13) Good night (1469) Bad night (852)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch

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  (815): Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch http://tfl.nu/nhct
  Replies (3) Good night (764) Bad night (847)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go

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  (850): We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go http://tfl.nu/28iq
  Replies (4) Good night (403) Bad night (223)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...

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  (630): Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals... http://tfl.nu/ojmb
  Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (260)

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