My brain says no but my pants say off.
My balls are so social today.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
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Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?