On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days