It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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