he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she peed on how many people?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
