Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You're like the curious george of whores
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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