i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
false alarm, still single
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
