Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
