I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
