..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You were trust falling into bushes
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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