Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize