I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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