I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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