I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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