i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
