trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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