I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
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Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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