It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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