She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He better not be in your backpack
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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