He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
