And the cops told us we were all naked.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
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We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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