were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
