She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
