My cat gives me a boner
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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