you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize