i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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