So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
