remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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