You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
