she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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