D3 body, D1 cock
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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