so explain again why im purple
no
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
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Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
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I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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