roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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