i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
