Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
