I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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