upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize