Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
