are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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