Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I puked a lego.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
