maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
