you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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