Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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