Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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