I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
