trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize