but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
