i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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