i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
