i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
