What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
