Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize