i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if only i could text you this smell
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
