My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
