Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
