Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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