i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
