He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
