I think i peed on brittanys purse
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
